Advice for parents

After several requests, I have set up a parenting service for parents who need advice that is personalized for their child. You can hire me here: www.fiverr.com/williamsed/give-you-the-best-parenting-advice-for-raising-children

Back to School Anxiety

It is that time of year again. Back to school puts children through a lot of emotions. Some of them can be intense. Anxiety for mothers is also a real problem this time of year. There are financial worries about new clothes and supplies, but the highest anxiety often comes from worrying about your child’s new teacher. Will the teacher be too strict, too lenient, or heaven forbid, not a good teacher at all? Some studies show that children that endure a year with a poor quality teacher in first, second, or third grade have gaps in their learning that can impact their achievement in middle school and beyond.

Teacher turnover causes parents to worry that the “new” teacher may not have the skills to teach their child well. Some studies show that in this age of accountability, rigorous evaluations can weed out weaker teachers, allowing the principal to bring in better or more enthusiastic teachers. Read one related study here: https://www.nber.org/papers/w21922.pdf

Gifted children may continue to make straight A’s with a teacher that has not been trained on meeting their academic needs, but over time, without proper differentiation, the compliant gifted child may give up their thirst for knowledge and by third grade, be on the same level as an average ability child. Even worse, a gifted child with a stronger, more dominant personality may become a behavior problem when they are not challenged. An unruly gifted child that is challenged in their area of interest is often so engaged in learning that the behavior problems seem to disappear. Here is a research article about gifted children and behavior: http://www.k12accountability.org/resources/Gifted-Education/Fully-developing-the-potential-of-academically-advanced-students.pdf

Even more than finding the right teacher, resilience in gifted children is impacted by the family in which it is raised. Read a really good study about the impact of the family on the academic, social and emotional development if a gifted child here: https://diginole.lib.fsu.edu/islandora/object/fsu:405985/datastream/PDF/view.

If you are interested in reducing your anxiety as a gifted child mom, you may want to keep a journal that tracks your parenting and your child’s gifted milestones. Reflecting on your parenting strategies and reading current research can help you consciously adjust the way you interact with your child, hopefully reducing both your child’s and your own anxiety. You can get one here!
Start the school year off right and keep your anxiety in check for your own happiness and your child’s well being.

 

Discussing Mass Shootings with Children

After this weekend’s shootings, many parents are wondering how or if they should try to explain the impossible- why do gunmen shoot people? For children with high anxiety or are highly empathetic, hearing that a child died in El Paso can trigger fear. They may not want to go shopping for back to school at all.

An interesting Twitter discussion I read this morning emphasized that the news media calls white shooters mentally disturbed, but “brown” shooter are terrorists, and black shooters are gang members or are probably drug users

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I also found this chart that indicates that mass shooting 1.) should not just be the random ones, but any shooting, however motivates, that occurs with 4 or more victims, and 2.) defy racial or religious classification.

Although I have recommended it before, please consider reading this excellent book about strategies to deal with angry or violent children. If you are a teacher or a parent, it is a helpful resource. The book can also be bought directly from aha! Process, here: https://www.ahaprocess.com/store/emotional-poverty-book/ .

The best advice I can give you is to listen to your children, be empathetic without enabling their fears, and hug them. Telling children you love them is the most powerful thing you can do to reduce their anxiety.

Disciplining Smart Kids | Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT

43 participants and attendees from 22 states, D.C., and 5 countries joined us this week at Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT on Twitter to discuss disciplining smart kids! So often, discipline is confused with punishment which should not be the intent. Discipline should serve as a teachable moment. Gifted children know when others are trying…
— Read on globalgtchatpoweredbytagt.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/disciplining-smart-kids/

A Gifted Child Journal

Do you have a child 8-18 who has trouble telling you what she/he thinks? Is your child going through the stage where he is trying to decide how he feels about different things? If your child can write in sentence, a journal may be an appropriate gift. This journal has guided prompts to respond to such as, ” Of what are you the most afraid?” Or “What makes you feel proud? It asks a lot of “why” questions, prompting your child to elaborate.

If your child hates to write, this journal won’t make him/her want to write. If they like to write, this can be a helpful place to put their thoughts and ideas on paper.

Brain science shows that you remember what you write on paper better than what you type on a keyboard. Give a journal as a gift that will be developmentally helpful for the gifted kid who is figuring things out. You can buy it here! Just click on the picture.

A Gifted Child Mom Journal

Do you keep a journal? Many moms keep a journal to track their own diet, business, or mental awareness goals. Journals are available online as well as in handy little hard copies to slip into your purse or diaper bag. Mom journals become the inspiration for new businesses, a diary of their hopes and dreams, and a documentation method for different parts of their busy lives.

Research studies are proving that you remember more when you write on paper rather than on an electronic device. No, really! Read one study for elementary age children here: http://iranarze.ir/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/E3172.pdf .

Here is a study on adults: https://s3.amazonaws.com/academia.edu.documents/39983829/Sociological_insights_on_the_comparison_20151113-12886-s9zabv.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAIWOWYYGZ2Y53UL3A&Expires=1541983482&Signature=ZRIFePl4akqYcVfugGSPR8UxNRo%3D&response-content-disposition=inline%3B%20filename%3DSociological_insights_on_the_comparison.pdf

If the hyperlink doesn’t work, just copy and paste it in your browser. I don’t recommend things that are not backed by science.

I just published a guided journal for gifted child moms. It is a guided journal, which means it has some prompts to guide your thinking about how you nurture your gifted child’s intellectual and emotional development. In addition, it has some recommended reading on parenting gifted children. It has a list of books and a list of blogs. My hope is that you will read and reflect on your own parenting style. Write down your child’s behaviors and issues and how you dealt with them. Notice which strategies worked best, and which recommended strategies were not successful with your child. My hope is that it will make you a better Gifted Child Mom. You can buy a copy of it here:

Give Yourself a Birthday Gift!

I am amazed at how hard Moms work to give their children the most memorable of birthday gifts and parties. For previous generations, gifts were fewer and farther between. Often it was ONE gift, not the entire Amazon toy section.

My father was born in 1915. When he was 4, he and his brother, who was 9, received an extravagant gift for the time, a Victrola. It was such a big deal, an article in the local newspaper was written about it. The boys and their friends were delighted at the music that played when the big discs were put on the turntable and the handle was turned. That Victrola was always in my parents house until my father died in 2014, when he was 99. Now it sits in my brother’s home. It is a reminder of a simpler time. It still plays. Going through his things, I found a copy of the newspaper article about this amazing, extravagant gift that my father had kept. The Victrola was a gift that has lasted over 100 years. Do your children even remember what you bought them last year?

I have told my children not to buy me any more “stuff”. I would rather be taken out to dinner, or get to spend time with them and my grandchildren at 64. If I need clothes or appliances, I just click on Amazon and boom. I am gifted.

This year I decided to give myself the gift of accomplishment. This year and every year, I want to accomplish something that I will be proud of for years to come. I want to learn how to do something new or create something that may help others in some way.

I wrote a children’s phonics book. It isn’t the book that is the real gift. It is the gift of learning how to use Kindle Direct Publishing that is the gift. It is to take the risk, going out on a limb, and hiring an illustrator. It is the rush of writing and editing and rewriting it, hoping that my grandchildren would enjoy seeing a book that Nana wrote. All of you young Gifted Child Moms out there, challenge yourself to continue to learn new things and create, even if you do not see yourself as a creative type.

Stuff is not what is important. When your children are grown, they will not remember the party, the colorful molded plastic action hero, doll, or push toy you bought them. What they will remember is the time you gave them your undivided attention. You need to do the same thing with yourself. Give yourself your undivided attention and build YOUR brain. Be proud of yourself. Accomplish something. It is the best gift you can give yourself and your children. Give yourself the gift of accomplishment. It always is the right size and does not have to be returned. It is appropriate though, to share.

By the way, it really is my 64th birthday today! Happy Birthday to me and my book.

Click on the picture below to order this book:

Thanks for sharing with anyone you know with young children who are just starting to read. There is a kindle version, too, but it is a separate listing, because I am still learning. I haven’t figure out how to make it one of two format options yet. Keep learning!