43 participants and attendees from 22 states, D.C., and 5 countries joined us this week at Global #gtchat Powered by TAGT on Twitter to discuss disciplining smart kids! So often, discipline is confused with punishment which should not be the intent. Discipline should serve as a teachable moment. Gifted children know when others are trying…
— Read on globalgtchatpoweredbytagt.wordpress.com/2018/11/23/disciplining-smart-kids/
Do you have a child 8-18 who has trouble telling you what she/he thinks? Is your child going through the stage where he is trying to decide how he feels about different things? If your child can write in sentence, a journal may be an appropriate gift. This journal has guided prompts to respond to such as, ” Of what are you the most afraid?” Or “What makes you feel proud? It asks a lot of “why” questions, prompting your child to elaborate.
If your child hates to write, this journal won’t make him/her want to write. If they like to write, this can be a helpful place to put their thoughts and ideas on paper.
Brain science shows that you remember what you write on paper better than what you type on a keyboard. Give a journal as a gift that will be developmentally helpful for the gifted kid who is figuring things out. You can buy it here! Just click on the picture.
Do you keep a journal? Many moms keep a journal to track their own diet, business, or mental awareness goals. Journals are available online as well as in handy little hard copies to slip into your purse or diaper bag. Mom journals become the inspiration for new businesses, a diary of their hopes and dreams, and a documentation method for different parts of their busy lives.
Research studies are proving that you remember more when you write on paper rather than on an electronic device. No, really! Read one study for elementary age children here: http://iranarze.ir/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/E3172.pdf .
Here is a study on adults: https://s3.amazonaws.com/academia.edu.documents/39983829/Sociological_insights_on_the_comparison_20151113-12886-s9zabv.pdf?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAIWOWYYGZ2Y53UL3A&Expires=1541983482&Signature=ZRIFePl4akqYcVfugGSPR8UxNRo%3D&response-content-disposition=inline%3B%20filename%3DSociological_insights_on_the_comparison.pdf
If the hyperlink doesn’t work, just copy and paste it in your browser. I don’t recommend things that are not backed by science.
I just published a guided journal for gifted child moms. It is a guided journal, which means it has some prompts to guide your thinking about how you nurture your gifted child’s intellectual and emotional development. In addition, it has some recommended reading on parenting gifted children. It has a list of books and a list of blogs. My hope is that you will read and reflect on your own parenting style. Write down your child’s behaviors and issues and how you dealt with them. Notice which strategies worked best, and which recommended strategies were not successful with your child. My hope is that it will make you a better Gifted Child Mom. You can buy a copy of it here:
As a gifted child mom, I know how much you want to provide every opportunity for your bright children. They may learn quickly and with little repetition. They may be artistic or play a musical instrument before they even started school.
But ask yourself honestly. Do you let your children struggle and persist? If they stumble on a word or a math problem, how quick do you jump in with the answer? I am admitting, this is my greatest weakness as a parent and as a teacher. I always wanted to help too much.
This week, I babysat my grandchildren. We had a new 48 piece puzzle of the Avengers. I tore open the package and explained that with so many pieces, it would help to find the edges and do them first. I fumbled around and put 3-4 pieces together before I had to leave the table and help my two year old grand daughter with her baby doll across the room. I was only across the room a few minutes, but when I came back to the table, the 5 year old sat there, with a perfectly completed puzzle. It was the look on his face- the sense of accomplishment- his calm and satisfied look that reminded me- it was his puzzle to solve, not mine.
My daughter says he is really good at puzzles. I am not. I need the edges to form a frame before I can figure out how the puzzle goes together. That did not mean that he needed that strategy. His visual perception of patterns and colors helped him put the puzzle together much faster than he would have with my help.
Children develop what teachers call “learned helplessness”. If we interfere too much, they will let you do everything for them. You doing it yourself seems to make you happy, and children want to please their moms.
A curious child may give up that curiosity if you are the one who always solves the problem. Why try? Even worse, what if your highly sensitive gifted child perceives your help as being somehow because you think he/she is not smart/good/clever enough to do it on his or her own?
Whether it is a 5 year old with a puzzle, or a 12 year trying to balance an Algebraic equation, help by asking questions rather than finding the answer yourself. Allow think time. Count to 15 after you ask a question to give the child time to think and answer. Help your child if they ask, but usually the help they want is your attention and reassurance that they can be successful, not the actual answer.
You will be a better gifted child mom if you help your child persist and build his/her problem solving skills instead of making things too easy.
I am amazed at how hard Moms work to give their children the most memorable of birthday gifts and parties. For previous generations, gifts were fewer and farther between. Often it was ONE gift, not the entire Amazon toy section.
My father was born in 1915. When he was 4, he and his brother, who was 9, received an extravagant gift for the time, a Victrola. It was such a big deal, an article in the local newspaper was written about it. The boys and their friends were delighted at the music that played when the big discs were put on the turntable and the handle was turned. That Victrola was always in my parents house until my father died in 2014, when he was 99. Now it sits in my brother’s home. It is a reminder of a simpler time. It still plays. Going through his things, I found a copy of the newspaper article about this amazing, extravagant gift that my father had kept. The Victrola was a gift that has lasted over 100 years. Do your children even remember what you bought them last year?
I have told my children not to buy me any more “stuff”. I would rather be taken out to dinner, or get to spend time with them and my grandchildren at 64. If I need clothes or appliances, I just click on Amazon and boom. I am gifted.
This year I decided to give myself the gift of accomplishment. This year and every year, I want to accomplish something that I will be proud of for years to come. I want to learn how to do something new or create something that may help others in some way.
I wrote a children’s phonics book. It isn’t the book that is the real gift. It is the gift of learning how to use Kindle Direct Publishing that is the gift. It is to take the risk, going out on a limb, and hiring an illustrator. It is the rush of writing and editing and rewriting it, hoping that my grandchildren would enjoy seeing a book that Nana wrote. All of you young Gifted Child Moms out there, challenge yourself to continue to learn new things and create, even if you do not see yourself as a creative type.
Stuff is not what is important. When your children are grown, they will not remember the party, the colorful molded plastic action hero, doll, or push toy you bought them. What they will remember is the time you gave them your undivided attention. You need to do the same thing with yourself. Give yourself your undivided attention and build YOUR brain. Be proud of yourself. Accomplish something. It is the best gift you can give yourself and your children. Give yourself the gift of accomplishment. It always is the right size and does not have to be returned. It is appropriate though, to share.
By the way, it really is my 64th birthday today! Happy Birthday to me and my book.
Thanks for sharing with anyone you know with young children who are just starting to read. There is a kindle version, too, but it is a separate listing, because I am still learning. I haven’t figure out how to make it one of two format options yet. Keep learning!