I have been away from the blogging world for over a month. I am still not sure if I am ready to start writing again, but I hope to connect with my readers and start a conversation about peace of mind. My mind seems to be exhausted, short circuited maybe, frazzled for sure. I do not feel mentally sharp or shiny. So I hope you will write me and talk to me about how you get reconnected with your purpose and your passion. My passion is gifted children. But lately, the Twitter/Facebook/Instagram feeds about gifted children going back to school seemed overwhelming. I honestly felt like the conversation has turned into a roar.
As a gifted child mom, do you ever want to step away from your gifted child’s needs and just take care of yourself? Can you stop the worry, the pressure, the advocacy and just “be”?
Different personalities deal with emotional stress in different ways. It is not about intelligence. I need silence at times to recharge. A darkened room and silence helps to calm my mind. Others need music, or to be out at a concert or club so they can disappear anonymously into a crowd.
I like social media, but too much exposure is depressing to me. I start worrying about problems that are not mine. I like to remember the meme I saw that said, “Not my monkeys. Not my circus.” As a gifted child mom, you may feel like the ringmaster in your family circus, trying to keep all the acts running smoothly. If you do, remember that self care is necessary to keep the show going. You may feel like if you crash, the whole tent will collapse. Prevent that from happening.
If you have a husband, partner, parent, or friend, don’t resist asking for help. Say, “I need two hours to myself. Will you please…(insert the appropriate phrase: run the car pool, do the laundry/dishes/vacuum/homework, buy the groceries). Then do whatever you need to quiet your mind. Meditate, sleep, go for a walk, go to Target, (whatever) so you can stop thinking. Two hours of peace can recharge you enough to make it to the next act in YOUR circus. Have a good weekend.
2 thoughts on “Take a Break from Your Circus!”
Thank you for this one. I’m new on this blog which I was directed to by coincidence – now I’m beginning to doubt that, actually 😉
I have two gifted children who are both challenged in their own way – which leave my husband and me challenged.
We are Danish, live in Denmark, where it’s not exactly popular to discuss topics like giftedness.
From the outside, our family look like a well oiled machine (except we struggle financially).
If we try to tell family and friends about how demanding it is to us to be a parent – even with concrete examples – we only get comments like “yes, that’s just how being a parent is”, “our kids have problems with that, too” or “don’t you think it’s just like that for a short period of time?”.
They look at us like we think we’re the only parents in the world with those problems and as if we might take them a little too seriously.
They make us (or at least me) feel like someone complaining over normal things or like I’m overreacting.
I think what they hear are normal problems when having kids because most of what ARE the problems can be put in the normal categories like “don’t have many friends”, “feel alone” or “feel different and cry”. These categories are normal things to go through at one or several points in a person’s life. So people don’t get that no, it’s not just for a short period of time and no, it’s not just a normal teenage thing. They don’t get that what they know of from their own kids, should be multiplied with 5 or 10 or more when it comes to our kids.
And they certainly don’t know that this multiplication comes from giftedness.
That’s what makes it a lonely ride as gifted children parents.
Especially in Denmark where, yes, we do have an association called Gifted Children but looking at the address list, there are maybe six (6) children in the whole of our municipality age maybe four to 18! Not that many possibilities to meet peers! Of course, there are many more candidates – they just don’t know about the association.
And we should be careful telling them, as giftedness is not much spoken of in Danish culture or schools.
So yes – a big roar from a gifted child mom (and dare I say a gifted mom (I’m now testing the waters in here)) as I experience most of what my children go through as well – and I’m saddened to see them struggle, too.
I try to meditate sometimes – it’s rare that it happens, though. I sometimes write in a diary- mostly to note down words of gratitude (that helps a lot in keeping a positive focus in life) and I try to read literature that helps me grow and help my stay on track with a determined and deliberate positive focus.
Thanks for reading! :0)
Thank you for writing! Please look back through my past posts. You will find a number of books that I hope you will find helpful. Parenting is hard, but you are right, GT kid parenting can be intense. I post many articles about Giftedness on my Facebook page, Williams Educational Consulting. You can also follow me on Twitter at @ellen3610. If you use Pinterest, I have a board called “Gifted School stuff with 470 pins you may want to share for academic support. My Pinterest account name is mew11016. Your community may not understand Giftedness, but in your case, social media may help you connect with both academics and parents who share your struggle. My best advice is loved your gifted child, forgive yourself for walking on the parenting road that has so few “maps” available for the best way to go, and enjoy the journey. I hope you will reach out to me! I will help you any way I can.